What a Wonder!

There is a new (not so new? new to me?) chocolate bar designed specifically to...

wait for it...


CURE PMS!

Brilliant, just brilliant. It's got a number of herbal-type ingredients that are supposed to aid the natural chocolatey goodness in its curative powers. I say, bring it on! If ever a woman needs chocolate, during PMS is the time.

It appears, however, that some men are complaining. Rudely.

But here's the thing. If your wife or your girlfriend is on her fifth bar of the day and gobbling her way to a couple saddlebags' worth of extra poundage, she can say, "Honey, I'm doing this for you. Either I eat another Wonder Bar or I berate you irrationally and then burst into tears. Take your pick."

Checkmate! A man will have no choice but to sit back and gawk in horror as the little missus turns into a Greyhound bus.

Clearly, the writer, David Segal, has Issues. Irrational? During PMS? He's obviously viewing things through a male lens. I have never in my life been irrational. In the moment, I was being perfectly logical. Later assessments of the logic of whatever my point was must be made while taking the context into consideration. If you do that, you'll see that it was logical. Ahem.

And dissing the Wonder Bar because it can turn PMS into an excuse for expansion? Please. In that case, we'd have to say that nachos and hot dogs and all manner of Male Food turn sports into an excuse for expansion, and thus we should... Okay, I lost that point.

I feel tears welling. How dare he! What's his problem anyway? What's he got against women? I DEMAND HE BE DISMISSED FROM WAPO!! Besides, I'm not going to turn into a Greyhound bus.

I'll be a dainty little minivan.